“Suck my balls Christmas!” – Thanksgiving

It’s happening again. It’s November 5th. Not even a full week into November. Still three whole weeks before I get celebrated, and they’re already putting Christmas decorations up in the malls. WTF malls!? Did I miss something? Is it December already? Did we already have our Thanksgiving feast?...
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Cock the Vote!

It’s election day. MTV is going to Rock the vote. Comedy Central is going to Mock the vote. Here at nosesplash.com we are going to cock the vote. That’s right. We are going to cock it. And we think you should too. COCK THE VOTE!
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Hello Nurse!

Well Halloween is just a week a way and you know what that means. Slutty costumes. It’s pretty amazing how just about anything these days can be turned into a sexy Halloween costume. They have a sexy costume for everything you could imagine, and then for some things you...
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An Open Letter to Ketchup

An Open Letter to Ketchup Dear Ketchup You have served your duty admirably for the past two centuries. No one can dispute the great service you have performed for this country. But we are at an impasse. America is crying out for new solutions. The era of the tomato...
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Sucks To Be You

A man in Michigan was arrested this week for “receiving sexual favors from a vacuum” at a car wash. This was probably a low point in that man’s life but it could have been worse. Here are: The Top 10 Things Worse Than a Car Wash Vacuum to...
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